I Left My Heart...

Well, I left half my heart in Brazil.

This past week has been interesting.  There have been many observations about what I missed about Canada while I was in Brazil.  Some of these things are superficial, such as conveniences that we have no idea we have (think dishwashers, not having to put toilet paper in the garbage, dropjes, able to buy in bulk, inexpensive children's clothing that will not fall apart, the cultural and recreational opportunities here (plays and concerts the church community puts on, the church soccer/hockey leagues, swimming lessons)).  Some of these are slightly more understandable (think smooth roads and actual rules on the road, a washing machine that fits a normal sized load, large fridges, less mosquitoes (as of yet), speaking English, less tropical illnesses, health care I'm used to, specifically a doctor I trust).

In fact, I was thinking that it was crazy that we even thought about moving to Brazil.  Seriously, we have everything here.  And I mean, everything.  Or maybe I should say everything we are used to.  Because we wouldn't know if we didn't have it, I guess.

Then yesterday, a friend of ours wrote something about arriving in Peroba on facebook, and I started looking at pictures of our last week there, and I became rather tearful.  And I didn't even know I had emotion after I left.  I was so sad when we left, and even before, thinking about leaving, but after we left, I was just excited to be here in Canada.  I thought I was rather cold and maybe I was an odd person that just could like where I was, when I was there.

Now, unfortunately, I am ruined forever.  I can't be one place without missing another.  How do people do it when they move all over?  Do they leave pieces of their heart everywhere?  Does this feeling fade?  How do I stay connected to both places?

In my mind, there is no doubt that it would be easier to stay here.  Okay, that's not true, there's a lot of things that would be difficult staying here.  Deciding what to do if we stay here is the biggest one.  And missing our Brazilian family.  The people there are warm and welcoming.  The natural beauty is breathtaking.  The pace of life is more relaxed.  There's huge opportunity for business.

What is really strange, is I would never call myself a person who becomes close to people quickly.  I wondered how it was that I grew so close to people after only 3 months (plus I guess the 2 months almost 2 years ago).  One of my conclusions is that "a friend in need is a friend indeed."  When we are in need and there is a friend there supporting us even through that time, that is a true friend.  In general maybe in Canada we are more isolated, we have everything we need, we have our set support system, we don't feel like we "need" people.  But Shaun and I had to rely on our new friends rather quickly.  We had to trust them, we had to ask for help with sorting out our business/banking issues, we had to hope that they enjoyed our company in spite of our limited Portuguese.  And we are so grateful to these good friends, who did not seem to mind having us over for lunch every Sunday, who took off of work to try to get our bank account going, who put up with our children when they at times had difficulty adjusting to the changes, who opened up their homes in Recife when we needed a place to stay for a night or two.  So maybe that is why we feel so attached, how we made good friends so quickly.  They affected our lives and who we are so quickly.

So when I think about Brazil and what I love and what I miss, it does end up being the friends we made.  It is like an act in our life with a different backdrop, and in the end that is not what matters.  What is important is that we have found a wonderful community of friends in both of these "acts", people to rely on and bless us, and we pray that wherever we end up, we can be a blessing to these people as well.

And hopefully along the way, I can learn to live with missing some people while enjoying the others, and know that it is sad to leave, and happy to arrive, and believe that no matter where we are, we have friends in both places.  And what a comfort we have, that we will see each other again, no matter where we end up in life!