It is Not Possible...

***I wrote this post last week Thursday, and didn't publish it, thinking that maybe it was just one of those days where I was looking at everything in a negative light.  We currently are getting set to head back to Canada in a week, so I'm feeling a bit glum trying to build up enthusiasm for packing and saying goodbye here.***

It is not possible...to have our bank account before we leave Brazil.  We also are concerned about the length of time it could/will possibly take to buy and renovate the land we have been eyeing, as well as order the machinery we need.   We obviously can't do anything with the land or machinery until we have our bank account.  Having a down day thinking about all the hiccups we've experienced.  It's been a long couple of years waiting to actually do this, and we wonder how much longer we will wait until the business is functioning.  And as much as we enjoy this lifestyle, and the amazing adventure it has been, do we continue living off of love :) as we wait for the business to be paying us.

To be honest, in my mind I always imagined being back in Canada in a "short-ish" time, maybe at most five years.  But seeing how long everything has taken, are we looking at longer than that?  Can I think about the possibility of longer without panicking?

Shaun is in Forteleza tonight and tomorrow for some meetings.  Hopefully it will provide him with the clarity that I don't have.  I am so excited to see my family and friends in THIRTEEN days, but also so sad that we are leaving here yet again.  There are some amazing people here and I'm so thankful for our neighbours especially, as well as other good friendships we've made and strengthened.

So, can anyone who is completely completely neutral, without any thought in their head about wanting us either here in Brazil or there in Canada, tell us if there is a logical resolution to this problem?  Or is it one of those "what is right for your family" sort of deals, and you can always look at it from both sides?  The point of our venture is to run a successful business that benefits the community, as well as provides for our family, not have a five year adventure where we live off of our savings.

So then my other question is, how do you know God's will in situations like this?  Can I type it in google: should Shaun and Brenda stay in Brazil?  If we keep hitting roadblocks, is that a sign?  If we decide to stick it out, is that God's will?  If some people tell us it's a great idea, or a horrible idea, is that advice we should listen to (think of many of the Proverbs that talk about listening to advice and heeding instruction)?  Or as it does not seem to be out of line with anything Biblical, is it more a matter of how we feel about it?  As I was looking through the Proverbs I also caught this one:

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed (Pr. 16:3).

We definitely have spent many years praying about this.  However:

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps (Pr. 16:9).

***So Here's An Addendum to this post***
I did end up having a good conversation with some friends of ours here in Brazil the next day while Shaun was gone, and it was somewhat enlightening.  A bit funny because I told them that no one is neutral about where we go... implying that I think we are wanted everywhere :)  If we are doing things for godly reasons, such as benefiting the community, or providing for our family, it is possible that any way we go could be within God's will: that is, his will for a godly walk of life.  Seems like it makes it more difficult, possibly.  And in spite of that, easier.  We want to move here.  We believe that this business venture can be successful in a way that benefits many in the community with work and improved business knowledge.  We hope in some small way to contribute to the small church community here.

So in analyzing whether this business is feasible (if it ever opens ;), Shaun had more good news in Forteleza, where he met with a company that makes the machinery and another government organization that consults with agricultural companies.  There seems to be a continued and even increased interest in the product, which renewed yet again Shaun's excitement.  So we continue on, knowing we have good intentions, we've done our research, and most of all, we've asked for guidance and blessings from the Lord.


Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labour in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, 
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
~Psalm 127: 1-2

Now all we have to do is continue in our lesson of patience...