Half Way Home

**I wrote this last night**

Since counting how many days we have been here, and how many we have left, and realizing we're halfway through our trek, I've starting taking stock of how I feel about being here. Or more like, how I would feel about being here longer term. Not in a very organized way, mind you, but just random flitting thoughts that say, "this is what I like about it," and "this is what is hard."

The first thing I have to write about is how I don't have internet connection right now. It seems towards evening it is more likely to get stormier, and then we lose our connection. Really it doesn't bother me too much, it actually encourages me to do something else, but today I could cry about it. Because I think maybe my sister-in-law is in labour. And I know within the next day, or even week, I am going to find out about my new neice or nephew, and that will be the hardest thing about being here. I know if I was there, I would be the first (okay maybe just one of the first) to know she was in labour, because I would have at least one or maybe all of her kids, at least for her doctor's appointment today. And I would have been able to take her kids during the last few weeks while she tried to sleep and get things ready, and for her doctor's appointments. So I wish I was home to be there for her and for myself to enjoy meeting my nephew or neice at the hospital right away. Because we know how much I love babies. Just thinking about it makes me teary, to be honest. And a few more things have happened the past few weeks that I wish I could have been there for, such as when my other sister-in-law had surgery, and when a good friend of mine had a baby a few days ago.

To be honest, other than that, I think I could live here. I am loving learning a new language. Brazil is a very friendly culture, and I think I can get used to the informal way of dropping by people's homes and laughing and eating and drinking together (the same things I enjoyed back home). You relax more here, the organized chaos is fun and kind of like my life, and I'm not too worried that once we are here a little longer, we would feel more settled in our own home and connected with people. In the evenings we don't have very much going on, and I think at home by now with this lack of social life I'd be going crazy with boredom. But there has been so much to learn and adjust to it has been wonderful to have no committments on our schedule. And a nice break from our busy schedule at home. Actually today we got in "trouble" from our friends Sandro and Djane. Sandro told us he was very sad that we hadn't called him the last week or two. The reason we don't call is because it's one thing to understand people in person, with visual cues and charades to help us out, but over the phone it is waaaaay harder. (A funny story about that is that the last time Shaun phoned he was halfway through his first sentence and they said "oh the house of Ze Lira." Basically they heard it was someone who "couldn't" talk Portuguese and knew who needed water.). Anyways, I find many nights now we are at home, but I think that would easily change as we got comfortable enough to invite people over and speak Portuguese with them. Also I think we would make more of an effort to be involved in Bible study and church socials once we got our legs under us.

Some other great things about where we are right now: Izabel (and not just because she is the best cook and keeps my house clean, but because she's becoming a good friend), the beach, and the usually sunny weather.

There are a few more things that I think will be hard to adjust to. For one, the heat. It is something everyone wants to have for holidays for a week, but to be honest when you are living in it, you look for relief. And we are here in the winter, and I think it is a cooler winter than usual. In January/February it gets up to 40. And then on the other hand the rain. Which apparently this year is more than usual but it is crazy stormy here sometimes, which in this house causes flooding. I'm not sure if that is a usual occurence in houses. And with all that rain and then sun it is very humid. So humid that clothes don't dry for three days. Another irritation is the mosquitoes. I don't know if you remember in an earlier post that I wrote I couldn't figure out how we were getting so many bites when we couldn't see any mosquitoes. It's because it's not just the occasional mosquito, it's the no-see-ums. They can get in any nook and cranny, and through netting as well. On the coast here it is not so bad, with the wind off the ocean. When we were in Aldeia I had over 50 bites on each leg. As much as I hate mosquitoes and no-see-ums, the worst is seeing the kids. Hazel and Lyla actually have a minor allergic reaction to them. Hazel had a two bites right beside eachother on her back that was around 3 inches across. I do hear that you adjust and that your reaction to them get less in time. Seth doesn't get the allergic reaction so much, but he wakes up from scratching, which is frustrating.

I think Hazel and Lyla will have no problem adjusting, because they are so young even Hazel doesn't understand the concept of being far away or not seeing someone for a long time. Seth is having mixed emotions. He says "I don't want to learn Portuguese" and "I don't want to live in Brazil" yet asks Bel and Shaun and I to tell him the words in Portuguese. He is starting to say things like "Oi" to his cousins on skype, I think without realizing it is Portuguese, and Bom Dia, Tchau, por favor, obrigado, agua, arroz, some of the basics. He really misses having buddies his own age. Kids his age don't have the concept that they should be patient with someone who doesn't understand the language, or the concept of inclusion. So he loved seeing Joel, Titus, and Micah. He loves Bel's son, Edjackson, who is 12 and has come over twice to play futebal with him. He's a really sweet kid that points to things and says what they are to Seth, and makes sure he's okay. And for boys, all you need is to play a game of futebal or take out the lego. I know that if we were here longer, it wouldn't take long for him to make a friend or two and that would be all he needed. But it is hard to see, when at home his best buddies are his cousins Adam and Dylan. And seeing how well he did in school here when he doesn't understand the language, he is going to do awesome in Canada in the fall, so I know that it will be hard to pull him away from that again. It's hard to think that he wouldn't really know his cousins, or aunts and uncles, and especially grandparents. I think of our grandparents moving from Holland and thinking they would never see their family again....now how they did that is beyond me.

And if people are wondering about safety for us here, I have to admit that here in Maragogi I haven't really felt worried once. We lock the doors and windows, like at home. The days are light from around 5:30 to 5:30 every day (when we got here it was more like 5 to 5) and at first I thought you wouldn't really go out after dark. And I wouldn't really, by myself, also like at home. But there's enough people out and about after dark that you feel fine. People here like to sit outside their house in the evening and watch the world go by (Shaun and I have concluded it's because they don't have much room in their houses and it is cooler). It's like their favorite past time to socialize and watch people walk by. So we haven't felt uneasy really in any way. And when I walk into the city centre, it seems like I see people from church all the time.

So there's a long summary of thoughts of living here. And the biggest thing is how far away we are family and friends, and I'm reminded of that more when a big exciting event like a new baby being born happens. So in conclusion, there is no problem actually living here, just a problem with distance from those I care about. Even if we moved to the other side of Canada it would only be a 5-6 hour flight, but we are looking at over 24 hours and an even bigger expense to get home, or to have people visit us. Anyways, I know that our decision really hinges on whether I feel I can handle it, because Shaun would have moved here 3 years ago if he had the opportunity. If we were talking about ten years, or even five, it would be an even harder decision, but when Shaun says two or three, I think about how fast life goes and what is three years in the whole scheme of things. And then I think I can live in Brazil for a few years.

But I know that Canada will always be home for me.